Who's in Control?

This week has really gotten away from me. It seems like no matter how carefully I plan my day, something always happens and my "To Do" list sprouts little wings and flies out the window. Life happens (as we all know) and some things just have to be pushed aside.

My "To Do" list seems to get longer every day. I have a mountain of sewing to do (with deadlines!), a cleaning schedule to keep track of, meals to get on the table, three books I'm in the process of reading, a baby blanket to finish, a journal to fill, personal Bible study, a painting to work on, a little sister who wants to learn how to sew, and blog posts to write. Have I worked on all of these things? Unfortunately, no.

Why can't I seem to get everything done? Well, one day we'll have unexpected company and the next there will be last minute trips to the doctor. Maybe errands take longer than planned or my lesson plans that I worked so hard on don't go as planned. Dinner doesn't turn out and it takes forever to clean up the mess - whatever the case may be, NOTHING has been working the way I want it too!!!

After about a week of complete frustration I finally just broke down. I had been running around like crazy but I didn't seem to be accomplishing anything. My whole body was worn out and I just couldn't function anymore.

Yesterday morning I woke up in a bad mood. I was just so irritated I couldn't see straight. Here I have all of this stuff to do and it's halfway through the week and I haven't done any of it! I slung myself out of bed and stomped my way downstairs to breakfast. With out even a "Good morning" I started setting the table not really caring if the dishes rattled as I carelessly put them on the table. I won't go into details, but I will say that I was very unkind to my family during breakfast.

After everything was cleared away I went back to my room to vent my frustration. I pulled out my laptop and started browsing through the blogs that I follow. I came across an article in one of them that you can read at http://thevalueofone.com/?p=1809. I read it several times and each time I was more amazed at how it spelled out everything that I have been going through.

This article made me realize that I have been trying to handle all of these situations on my own. I never thought to ask God to help me through them. At times I have been labeled a "control freak" and in many ways that is true. I like things to go the way I have them planned out in my head and I like them to happen now, not tomorrow or next week or next month. NOW.

When things don't work the way I want them to I get headaches, I pace up and down, wave my arms in the air and in some cases my tongue moves a mile a minute (my poor mother's ears!). You can imagine how I felt after about a week of this. I was wound up so tight I was about to bust!

But, yesterday morning as I lay on my bed reading I realized how helpless I really am. I can do nothing without God. If I really were in control...heaven help us! I wouldn't last two seconds! But, for some reason I think that I am in control and I tend to go through life as if I really am. Thankfully, God is showing me that no matter how much I plan and schedule, He has the final say. Unfortunately, we often differ in opinion.

So from now on, when something happens to mess up my plans I just need to remember to say a prayer asking for patience and thanking God that He is in control. And then there's the hard part - picking myself up and carrying on with a cheerful attitude.

Sabbath Reflections

1 Corinthians 12.1-11

Now concerning spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be uninformed. You know that when you were pagans you were led astray to mute idols, however you were led. Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says, "Jesus is accursed!" and no one can say "Jesus is Lord" except in the Holy Spirit.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.

Home Again

He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.

Psalm 23

And so, the camping trip comes to an end. We had a great time together. It was a great to spend time with family without cell phones or Internet to distract us. I feel very rested and ready to tackle another busy week.

As usual, I was ready with my camera to capture the weekend. I think everyone got a little tired of turning around to find a camera in their face, but they'll thank me one day!

Here's just a few of the pictures I took.

We decided to take our Maltipoo, Elly, with us this time. I think this was her favorite part!

Sarah taking a break from setting up camp.

After we were all set up we went for a walk. I found these flowers beside the trail. Aren't they pretty?

These butterflies were so nice and stood still for a picture!

Our walk took us to the little country store on the camp ground. They had a lot of neat stuff, but of course, we were a little distracted by the ice cream!

Cooking Country Fried Steak over a HOT fire.

It started to rain so we turned the trailer into the "kitchen".

My coffee. Okay, I know it's strange to take a picture of your coffee, but you have no idea how much I love coffee! A friend once asked me if I were stranded on a deserted island what three things would I want to have with me? I answered: my Bible, a hairbrush, and a lifetime supply of coffee!

Sarah and Dad after breakfast.

Mom and me.

Elly

We had a really bad thunderstorm one night, so we threw everything into the trailer and camped out in the truck. Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as predicted and no damage was done.

The "Hillbilly Hotel" as Dad called it.

Really, I only have one regret about the whole trip. Apparently, no one thought to tell me that I am a walking blood bank. I think every mosquito in the state came for a free sample. Despite my many efforts, the first night I acquired around 40 bug bites from my knees down. There are more on my arms, hands, and neck, but it's to depressing to count them. Sarah says my legs look like I have leprosy. Needless to say, I'm not to thrilled about looking like I have a dreaded disease, but she's right, it's looks pretty bad. It's kind of frustrating that no one else had a problem with them though. I guess I must taste better...

"How beautiful upon the mountains..." Isaiah 52.7

Tomorrow we head for the mountains. I can't wait. One of the advantages of growing up in the Tennessee Valley is that no matter where you are the mountains aren't very far away. In fact, most places, you can almost always see them. There's the Appalachians on the east and the Cumberland on the west. Since we live in the east corner of the Valley, we always go up to the Appalachians.

It's funny. Ever since I was little I've had the strange notion that these were my mountains. Like, God put them there just for me. Silly, I know. I guess that's what comes with growing up so close to them. Every time we go up I get this giddy little girl feeling. I suppose you could call it sensory overload. All of that majestic beauty and God put it all there for me!

My family goes to the mountains quite a bit since they are so close. However, most times we just drive around, stop and have a picnic, and then come home. We are expert drive arounders!

Camping, on the other hand, is a different story. We've only ever really gone camping (aside from us kids sleeping out in the back yard) 3 or 4 times that I can remember. We always enjoy it when we go, but for what ever reason, it doesn't happen very often.

Since going camping is such a rare event, preparing for it is quite interesting. Over the years my family has aquired the reputation of going overboard with regard to packing. Or perhaps you could say that we take our travels very seriously and take everything that we could possibly need for every possible situation that could possibly ever happen. I've been making out lists of the things we need to take and it keeps getting longer and longer. We always do our own cooking when we're away from home and the kitchen/food list that I've made so far covers an entire sheet of copy paper.

My Dad is the expert packer in our family. He pieces everything all together just like a puzzle and somehow it always fits together perfectly. He's also one of those people who is very fond of order. Everything is always in its place and organized so that everything is easily reached. It is for this reason (and because we have so much stuff) that we are packing everything, not in our truck, but in the trailer. When I found this out, I had to laugh. Our big trailer that we use to cart our concession business around has now been emptied into the garage and awaiting our enormous supply of camping gear. At least no one can accuse us of not being prepared!

And so, the packing frenzy continues as we make more lists and try to find everything on them and make sure they make it on the trailer. So far, we've spent the entire day on the kitchen. Whenever we finish that it's on to bath things, clothes, etc. I can't wait to get on that mountain and just sit and relax!

Operation Organization

I have come to the realization that in order for me to accomplish anything profitable during my day I am going to have to schedule it all out. This day is nearly half over and I feel as though I haven't really done much of anything. Morning devotions, a couple chapters of Austen, breakfast, chatting with Mama, straightening up the house, and sitting on the back porch delicately sipping my coffee wondering which of the many projects I have whirling around in my brain should be accomplished today. (You know those people who have lots of great ideas and start many different things, but have a hard time finishing what they start? Yeah...that would be me.) There are so many different things I want to do and for some bizarre reason (the answer for which seems to be unknown to the human race) I feel the need to do them all at the same time. How is this possible? Well...it isn't. This is why I have about 5 unfinished needlework projects in my basket, a quilt that I've been working on for about 6 years (and no, it's not that big), a book list with about 15 books labled "started, but not finished", a dress that has been cut out and is sitting in a drawer with the pattern still pinned to it, 4 chapters of what was going to be a 400 page novel stashed away in a deep dark corner of my computers, and....well, you get the idea. My room is the warehouse for all of my unfinished projects. Make that an unorganized warehouse!

Organization is not something that comes naturally to me. It is a painful process. I'm one of those people that can easily appear to be organized, but in all reality I'm so scattered that half the time I don't know which way is up. (It is for this reason that my closet door stays shut and my dresser and vanity drawers are off limits.) Even my Bible is suffering from my lack of organization. If you pick it up the wrong way a shower of papers littered with my scribblings will baptize the floor. I find it quite easy to sit and sip my coffee while imagining how wonderful it would be to have my life organized and operating in a comfortable sense of regularity. Although, if life could just learn how to organize itself that would be even more wonderful.

Not only do my things need to be organized, but I feel the need to organize my activity as well. As I said, it is so easy for me to just sit and relax while making a mental note of everything that needs to be done. At the end of the day usually only half of these things actually end up being crossed off the list. Either I forgot about them (my memory has a habit of losing track of the things which I don't really want to do!) or I found something else to do that seemed more profitable or more enjoyable to me at the time - the latter being the most likely case. I've written out a cleaning schedule for the entire family and for the most part, we follow it. (Although, I have gotten a little behind this week...)

However, while I am able to stay on top of the cleaning and keep track of the housework, everything else is still suffering. So I asked myself, what is it that motivates me to do the scheduled cleaning? The answer proves that I am an extreemely visual person. I made up a sheet with my daily chores listed for every day of the week. Next to each task is a box for me to check it off when I've finished. (My favorite one to check off is the bathroom!) I have this list taped up on my wall in a spot where I have to look at it mutiple times every day. This way, my faulty memory doesn't have the chance to "forget" anything. I recently discovered that I need to move the list to a different location in my room about once a week. If it stays in one spot for too long I get used to it being there and I don't ever look at it - kind of defeating the purpose. There's something about seeing that list up there with all those empty boxes waiting to be filled with little check marks that motivates me to get up and get it all done as quickly as possible. That little row of check marks may seem insignificant, but it brings a great sense of satisfaction to me.

So, now I am applying the same principle to everything else. I am making a checklist for everything that needs to be accomplished each day - cleaning, Bible study, reading (specifying which book so I can actually finish one!), writing, sewing/needlework (specifying which project!), people I need to call or email, cooking, ect. and so forth. God gave me 24 hours in a day so the least I can do is use them in a profitable way. If making a list of everything is what I have to do, then so be it. Seems a little radical, I know, but something has to be done and this was the first idea that popped into my head. We'll try it and see how it goes. I am going to become an organized person if it kills me. Now I just have to motivate myself to make the list... :)